Family - Defined by LOVE

Many of us look at our parents, siblings, children, husbands and think family but some of us don't have those dynamics in our life. Many of us "find" our family as the years pass and realize that family is more than who you are biologically or maritally related to. Let me explain...

I grew up in a family of seven, my parents (mom and stepdad) and us five kids. Unfortunately, my dad passed when I was ten and in the midst of him passing my stepmom stepped out too. During my childhood we had very close family friends that I considered family as well! I was beyond blessed to be able to count on all of these people, all 10 of them. In the years to come as my brothers and I grew up we had differing personalities and while we tried to be there as supportive members of our family for each other, unfortunately myself and one of my brothers had a falling out. Don't judge, as it is God's plan. As much as I still care about him, because we are biologically connected, I no longer consider him a part of my 'living family'. To be honest, I barely know him anymore. MY family was now made up of nine people. While my other three brothers still have a family of ten or more/less depending whom else they identified as family.

I have since moved away from my home town and lost touch with the family friends as have my parents due to different circumstances. While we still keep in touch, we are no longer close like we use to be, therefore I don't consider them family anymore. Leaving me with a smaller family. Fast forward and put me in the last four years. I was in a very serious relationship where I helped raise two beautiful little girls, my step-daughters. Despite not being married to their dad they were still my kids and to them I was a "mom" to them. At this point in my life my family grew! I was beyond blessed with the family I had to love and wouldn't have asked for anything more.

Then he left. No true explanation, no justification and in a few short weeks the immediate family I once knew was gone. Although in the midst of everything, I have since been working with the girl's mom to foster a relationship with my, what I now call, bonus kids. I am beyond grateful for how she has assisted in keeping my relationship with the girls alive. The girls will forever be my kids and family despite my not having an emotional relationship with their dad. In addition, I have gained family thru the welcoming of the girl's mom, their stepdad and their youngest daughter. Don't get me wrong, we have had our differences in the last four years but all said and done, we all love the girls and want what's best for them. Therefore, they connect us. We need to each remember that family is defined by each individual, not by society. We may not see why someone defines their family in a particular way but it is not our place to judge or tell them it's not "normal". Family can also come and go and does not last forever. Similar to when we lose a person to death, people leave our lives but still hold a special place due to the impact they once had. Yet, your family changes and alters according to your current circumstances. As each of us grows, changes, and finds our path in life our family dynamic changes. Obviously, we can't change our biological family but it is the people in which you identify with, trust, create a life with and ultimately love unconditionally that make up your 'living family'.

Family is defined by love, not (always) by blood.

#Family #DontJudge #Love